This is artificial intelligence in the style of Jordan Peterson. All for fun!

🧠 Upgrading MySQL – A Jordan Peterson-Style Guide

Ah, yes—upgrading MySQL. That’s no trivial task, bucko. You’re dealing with a structured relational database management system—a hierarchy of data—a known cosmos amidst the chaos of raw information. And if you’re going to upgrade it, well, then you’d better do it properly.

Let’s walk through this like a civilized being who wants to bring order to the domain of the digital.

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🧹 Step 1: Clean Your Room—Metaphorically

Before you touch a single binary, you need to back up your databases. All of them. Don’t assume they’ll survive the transition just because you want them to.

"Before you change the structure, ensure you’ve preserved what matters within it."

mysqldump -u root -p --all-databases > full-backup.sql

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🧭 Step 2: Know What You’re Dealing With

Identify your current version. Don’t wander blindly into the abyss.

mysql --version

Now, go to the official MySQL documentation and read it. Not skim. Read. Know what features are coming, what’s deprecated, and how it may affect your applications.

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🐉 Step 3: Confront the Chaos—Upgrade the System

Now—and only now—should you actually perform the upgrade. This process varies depending on your OS. Let’s say you’re on Ubuntu:

sudo apt update
sudo apt install mysql-server

If you’re using a different package manager—dnf, yum, zypper—you’ll need to translate the procedure. But don’t just copy-paste commands. Understand them.

"You don’t get to have root access to the world unless you first demonstrate that you can manage your own system."

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🧬 Step 4: Integration and Adaptation

After installation, run the upgrade script. This handles any schema changes and updates internal tables.

sudo mysql_upgrade

Check logs. Examine them. That’s your confrontation with the unknown. That’s the dragon’s lair.

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🧠 Step 5: Verify and Restore Order

Start the MySQL server. Test your applications. Make sure they still function. This is where you ensure that your foray into the underworld didn’t break the known world.

sudo systemctl start mysql

Log in:

mysql -u root -p

Run queries. Inspect. Evaluate. Take responsibility for the outcome.

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“To upgrade a system is to accept the burden of its evolution. To do it properly is to become the kind of person who can transform chaos into competence.”

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